Archive for February, 2010

Heartbroken Poem

Have you ever written a heartbroken poem after going through a depressing breakup or separation?  Maybe you wrote one after suffering the loss of a pet or family member, or after experiencing the sadness of moving away from friends and/or loved ones.  It does appear that there is no greater muse for a heartbroken poem as the sadness from loss of love.

Reflection through poetry is an excellent way to express yourself.  There are no hard, fast and set rules for writing unless you’re trying to get your poems published.  Just let your mind and words flow in whatever style you please.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  There is no need to worry with the “techno babble” of rhyme, meter or even free verse.  You don’t even need to know how a good poem should look or sound.  Who cares how good or bad it is?  Most likely another soul will never even see it.

You can be eloquent or write in slang, but don’t force yourself to try to use the old romantic language of centuries past.  Just be yourself and write the poem in your own style, even throwing breaks in all willy-nilly if you please.  Heck, you don’t even have to put in any line breaks; just make it one long paragraph if that’s what pleases you.  Just get all your feelings and whatever else you want to express out on paper.

Your heartbroken poem is for your benefit alone.  Writing poetry is a wonderful way to deal with the emotional turmoil you feel after suffering the loss of love.  It helps you get out and sort your feelings through a positive channel so that you can be set on the path to healing.  Just write down what you feel, whether it be good, bad, ugly, right, or wrong.  It doesn’t matter.  You are doing this to help you.

After the first one is complete, you might feel inspired to write more heartbroken poems about all the different aspects of the pain you’re in.  If so, that’s great.  The more feelings you get out, the more you can analyze them and place them in the proper context and concept; another important step in the healing process.

The time you spend writing your heartbroken poetry will probably be very emotional.  Don’t try to force the emotions to stop, just let them flow, whether they be feelings of anger or hurt, let them out so you can move past it.

At a later time, if you are just super impressed with your work and would like to show your friends and family the poetry, feel free to do so.  Some people want to share their poetry, but not with anyone they know, and if you fall into this category you can just throw it up online somewhere under a pen name.  There are many websites with this type of purpose; a quick search should bring up plenty.  Some sites will even allow you to receive critiques of your work if that is what you would like.  However, it is not necessary.  You can simply thrive on the fact that you were able to share your experience and heartbroken poem with others who may be going through a similar experience.

How To Get Over Someone You Love

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process.  Sometimes it’s a slow process, too.  You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again.  That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years.  Maybe even for the rest of your life.  But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss.  It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out.  It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do.  But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain.  You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible.  Photographs of them can be put away for a while.  Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed.  You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while.  This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling.  Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love.  They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love.  A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well.  Some may have motives for help you get over the person.  They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly.  With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to.  If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce.  But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so.  Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that’s not true.  But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true.  Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.